Home > Health and wellness > Penis Owner’s Manual (Part III)

Penis Owner’s Manual (Part III)

TROUBLESHOOTING

The diagnoses outlined are intended to serve only as guides to locate and temporarily correct minor faults or worries. Causes of unsatisfactory performance should be investigated and corrected by your doctor.

PROBLEM – SOLUTION

Penis seems small. – Few men are satisfied with the size of their penis. Keep in mind that the average vagina is just three to five inches long.

Left testicle is slightly larger and hangs lower than the right one. – Rarely are both testicles identical. In fact, the left one hangs lower in 80 percent of all cases.

Erections do not occur as quickly, nor are they as firm as they were. – This is common with older models. However, exercising regularly, following a low-fat diet, avoiding smoking and limiting alcohol are all antidotes, as is longer and more creative foreplay.

Ejaculation happens way to fast. – Try strengthening your PC muscle with Kegel exercises. The PC is the muscle you use to stop urine flow. Contract it now to familiarise yourself with the feeling. What you just did was a Kegel. Do 20, 50, 100 or more daily – at your desk or in the bath. Since it’s the same muscle that contracts for ejaculation, strengthening it will give you more control during sex.

Ejaculation isn’t as forceful or as plentiful as it once was. – Such misfiring often occurs with older engines. In fact, with vintage models, ejaculation may not occur at all, although an orgasm is experienced.

Pain in testicle. – Intermittent twinges are common, and anything that lasts less than a minute or so is no cause for worry. Testicular pain that builds gradually is usually caused by an infection or inflammation. Consult a certified mechanic or authorized dealership.

AVAILABLE OPTIONS/UPGRADES – Customise your privates to fit all your lifestyle needs

VASECTOMY

Enjoy worry-free motoring by having a trained technician cut the Vas Deferens, thereby preventing sperm from reaching the urethra. It’s a safe quick (seven to ten minute), effective means of birth control, plus the sensation of ejaculation remains unchanged. Available in traditional snip or modern laser.

TESTOSTERONE

Preserve the raw beauty of your libido with testosterone! This potent male hormone, manufactured chiefly in the testicles, is responsible for your sexual desire and, to some degree, your erections. But production declines after age 50. Some me, who have no physical problems but experience flagging desire, may benefit from testosterone supplements, which can be taken orally through a skin patch or injection.

PENIS ENLARGEMENT

Gain valuable inches by expanding your trunk! Body-Shop mechanics penis appear larger by cutting the ligaments that attach it to the pubic bone. Once this is done, the penis hangs a bit lower and looks larger. In addition body fat can also be injected under the skin of the penile shaft to make it thicker.

WARNING! Most mechanics do not approve of the enlargement procedure, which compromises the penile suspension system and may undermine resale value. Consumers have reported lack of stability and loss of control when operating at high speeds.

CIRCUMCISION

See "Checking under the bonnet" above.

FORESKIN RESTORATION

For those who have grown unhappy with their circumcised model, Foreskin restoration may be possible. In this Do-It-Yourself procedure, skin from the shaft of the penis is gradually stretched with tape and even weights until it allegedly resembles a normal foreskin.

WARNING! Foreskin will not be restored to showroom condition.

PENILE IMPLANTS

If you have chronic difficulty getting an erection and other impotence treatments have failed, consider the new line of deluxe penile implants. These are cylinders that are surgically placed inside the penis to make it firm enough for intercourse. Two models are available. A non-hydraulic implant consists of a pair of flexible silicone rods that can be bent up or down by hand. It’s the simplest design, but since the penis remains semi-rigid, some men find it difficult to wear Chinos. A hydraulic implant includes a pair of hollow rods, a reservoir of saline solution and a pump, all concealed within the body. For an erection you simply squeeze your scrotum to inflate the penis.

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